Marilyn Stassen-McLaughlin Obituary

MARILYN STASSEN-MCLAUGHLIN, NELLIE Memorial Service: Saturday, February 22, 2025 at 9:30 am. The Episcopal Parish of St. Clement, 1515 Wilder Ave, Honolulu, HI. In lieu of flowers, Nellie asked that you consider a donation to The Episcopal Parish of St. Clement, 1515 Wilder Avenue, Honolulu, HI 96822 or the Southern Poverty Law Center https://www.splcenter.org/support-us/. Marilyn "Nellie" was voted "Best Sport" and "Friendliest" as a senior at Central High School in St. Paul, Minnesota (amazing the wisdom of high school students). Her ability to laugh at herself and connect with others drew people to her with affection across her 94 years. She loved learning about others' lives, hearing their stories. And, she had a remarkable ability to really listen and remember what was shared with her. When you talked with Nellie, you knew you mattered. Born in Saint Paul, MN, she received her B.A. from Macalester College. After graduation, she taught in California, Japan, and Minnesota. After her divorce in 1961, she moved to Oahu as a single mother with a 2 year old daughter. Later she earned a Masters in English from the University of Hawaii. She taught 7th and 8th Grade English and Group (Choral) Reading for most of her 31 years at Punahou School, and taught and tutored for over 50 years. She was also a writer and scholar. In addition to writing biographical fiction, she had numerous articles on teaching junior high English published in The English Journal. Her decades long, international, research into the life of Princess Ka'iulani included published articles in Honolulu Magazine, Hawaii Chronicles, The Hawaiian Journal of History, and in 2024, the co-authored book Princess Victoria Ka'iulani: Last Heir of the Hawaiian Kingdom. The Episcopal Parish of St. Clement was her church home, and the source of numerous close and sustaining friendships, for most of her life, starting in 1961. There she was the first woman Episcopal lay reader on Oahu. She also served on the Vestry, in the Choir, and as a Sunday School teacher. While Nellie was friendly, she was also determined, fiercely independent, and sometimes fearless. Even though, as a single woman with a child in 1961, she faced sexism and many barriers, she never thought of her life through that lens. She just got stuff done. She persevered and excelled. She was a wonderful mother who fostered that same independence in her daughter. She was close to all three of her older siblings (Stewart, Roger, and Bonnie) and her mother and father (Lillian and Henry), all of whom pre-deceased her. She remained friendly with her ex-husband (her daughter's father) and his husband until their deaths. She married the love of her life, Charles "Mac" McLaughlin in 1990 and they and their blended-family of children enjoyed much laughter for 20 years before Mac's death. She is survived (and loved) by her daughter Martha L. A. Stassen, Martha's husband, Reggie Kennedy, her step-son Daniel McLaughlin and his wife Kathy Kozak, and numerous nieces, nephews, her brother Roger's wife Shirley, extended family, and a multi-generational set of friends. The family is grateful for the warmth and support shown to Nellie (and her family) by the Kahala Nui Concierge staff and their Hi'iolani assisted living staff, especially the nurses, and nurse's aides. Thank you also to St. Francis Hospice for their quick and compassionate response.